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  • Writer's pictureLisa Clarke

Want Inspired Friendships? Find Your Expanders.

Updated: Jun 23, 2022

If you look at the people in your circle and do not get inspired, you do not have a circle, you have a cage. - Nipsey Hussle

Sharing space with a like-minded person or someone that you find inspiring, is up there with one of the best feelings out there.

Read on to learn how you can start attracting more meaningful friendships in your life!

What are Expanders?

An expander person, is someone that makes you feel good!

They may inspire you by how they carry themselves, how they are in business, how they parent, conduct their life, etc. Someone you generally admire.

This is someone that so obviously lives in their truth it’s addictive to observe, and you almost want to know all their secrets to how they are able to live such a life!

This person could be someone very well known in the world that you have never met in person, it could be a colleague, it could be someone you may have met once or twice, or if you are lucky enough, you may also call one a friend.

The truth is: when we are around someone that is an expander, it makes us feel good, because it actually helps us recognise the parts of our SELF that are unmet.

Passion stems from something that lives within, and when we are in the presence of someone that is inspiring to us, it’s actually speaking to and igniting an alikeness that rests within our own being.

It’s a match for our passion and what we see and feel is important and valuable. Almost like an inner knowing that you too, are also very capable to be living a life like that. It is so interesting to note that how this person presents, in whatever way you are drawn to, is also readily available within yourself.

Every human being has infinite potential in this lifetime. Sure, our experiences shape our perspective - but that's up to us to take responsibility and heal that if need be. We are all equipped with the same magic, the same back pack full of useful tools that we can rely on. The thing is, most of us don’t use these tools - some of us don’t even know we are carrying a back pack at all!

Expanders are not only conscious of the back pack - all their tools are out, and they have, or will continue to discover how their tools will assist them in making the journey an easier one.

How can we can attract expanders into our lives?

There are two answers to that question.

1. Identify expanders that inspire you and learn from them.

I'm talking about the Oprahs of the world! The movers and shakers, the individuals so obviously living and breathing their truth daily. Unafraid to go after life, no matter their set backs. Resilient, reliable, intelligent, driven, passionate, good human beings.

You may find this person/people in any area be it lifestyle, finance, relationships, self development, fitness, travel, technology etc. Acknowledge your interests and identify an expander in that field.

Once you have found an expander/expanders - immerse yourself in their work. Study them. How do they live? What can you learn from them? Buy their books, listen to their podcasts, read their blogs or tune into their motivational talks. Get all up in that energy - and say yes to it. Apply these things to your life, get curious in how you can implement positive change and step into the life that you know you are meant to be living, just as this person is. Stay for the inspired feeling and then blast it into your own life.

2. Focus on expanding your own self!

Expanders aren’t going to see you if you do not see yourself first.

Expanders are very intentional with how they live their lives. If you are seeking high vibe friendships and relationships, you must embody what you are seeking, so your light goes on and your people know where to find you too!

An expander will see and note another expander. But if you aren’t committed to expanding yourself, how can you expect an expander to stay in your company? Like attracts like… so do what you need to do, to embody that expander friend or friends that you are wanting to attract.

It’s important to be your own expander because you also understand how to be respectful to expander friends when you find them.

Expanders are very aware that lazy people love to feed on them. Majority of the time they will put them selves out there to create content for people to use and apply - like Oprah with her work for example. But when Oprah is around her friends, she doesn’t want to be constantly helping them. She wants to celebrate and sit in her expanded-ness with other like minded people, that have also done the work.

So it’s very important to note, to attract expander friends, you must be responsible for your own expansion. Be committed to your passion and consciousness.

Lastly, I want to note:

Be ready to release friendships, always.

Each of us grow and expand in different forms and at different stages of our lives.

No-ones stage is any better or more valuable than another - but it is either a good fit, or not. If it's not a hell yes - it's a hell no.

The people in our life will always eb and flow, I think it is very important to note that just because someone has been in your life for a long time - doesn't mean that they automatically are propelled into all phases of your life.

Release anyone from your life that you know it is their time to go.

And in doing so, it is allowing space for fresh relationships that support, honour, and colourfully spark the stage that you are in, in your life.


Self enquiry journal prompts for when you identify someone as an expander-

Why am I drawn to this person?

What is alike between this person and myself?

What can I learn from this person?

How can I apply these learnings to my own life?

How can I offer my gratitude and acknowledgment to this expander?

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